yes, indeedy edie

I gotta get something off my chest. Take a load off. It's a small chest. It won't take long.

The greater part of the natural-born American, English-speaking public has no idea how to say my name correctly. This has always been a quandary to me. What is it that is so difficult about the arrangement of those four little letters?

I have a public school education. I hung with the masses. I sat right beside them in English class diagramming my sentences and enunciating my diphthongs. We were tight, them and I.

However, most people upon seeing my name pronounce it as if it is a name that belongs to a guy. And I'm standing right there! (Should I be worried?) They say "ed-eee" (Eddie) instead of "eee-dee" (Edie) which, of course, would be the proper pronunciation.

Many people are rather daring in their erroneous speech patterns. Humorous I find cashiers with their furtive glances who boldly wave my credit card through the air and say, "Are you sure this belongs to you?" Then I remember the name on the card. The cashier thinks I just mugged a guy in the parking lot to get this. Do I look like the type?

Of course, there are the crass ones who lie to cover themselves. After they say "Eddie," I correct them saying politely as I can muster to the 50 millionth stranger, "Two Ds is Eddie. One D is Edie." This is the comeback I get, "Oh, I've seen it spelled that way before." Pfft. Liar, liar, pants on fire.

So my job in life, if no other, is to educate the general public on the fact that:
"E-D-D-I-E is ed-eee, and
E-D-I-E is eee-dee."

There, I've said it again.

link: the band, bobby vinton