Thursday, September 3, 2009

who needs a beauty spa?

I think I just got a free spa treatment. For two hours this morning, Dave under slight sedation wallered in my lap waiting to get sleepy enough to succumb to the MRI. I feel like I've just undergone a complete body dermabrasion. And I didn't have to pay a thing for it. Lucky me.

It didn't happen. The MRI, that is. But you gotta understand Dave to know the gig. The guy has two modes: sleep and full throttle. There is no in between. So even though the doc attempted to sedate Dave with some liquid loopiness, the guy was just not going to be able to be perfectly still for a noisy, irritating, futuristic-looking medical test. He's four and fast. What's a guy to do?

So the next thing we'll try at some yet to be determined date and time is an MRI with what will no doubt be a general anesthetic. Whoa, Nellie. Here we go. I don't think I signed on for that one. No, wait. I'm his mama. Yes, I did. Never mind.

In light of this morning's events, in case you are wondering, Dave is very funny stoned. And you thought he was funny before. Add to that mix, random stumbling, slurred speech and even more goofy faces than he normally renders, and you have a recipe for comedic genius.

Don't get me wrong, the morning wasn't without its stress. We did our best to keep our wit and wits about us, but it wasn't easy. There were times I laughed and other times when I wanted to alternately scream and cry, but I knew that would do no good so I forewent it. (Or is that foregoed?)

At one point what looked like the entire hospital OB/GYN nursing staff came out of a conference room while Dave and I were in the hall. Dave was protesting madly, and I was holding him calmly and trying to ride out the storm.

My smile toward the nurses was true but waning, and I figured that it was the least I owed them since they've seen more of me than anybody has a right to. Yet without their nimble skill, I may have not been able to bring my children into this world. Let alone cradle one of them as he screamed for relief from an unknown demon.

Let me just say the prayers y'all sent were timely and well received. The morning wouldn't have gone so well without them. Just in case you need to know, even though I know the harrowing experience we'll have before us, the calm still remains.

I am not looking forward to this firewalk however. Not by any stretch of the imagination. So I'll thank you kindly to pray again whenever we know the appointed time 'cause I think I would like to be sedated for that one. Maybe I'll just down a brewski in the parking lot on the way in. That should do the trick.