For those of you who have ever lived with a small boy, this picture needs no explanation. These things, they happen. When I saw what transpired in my living room, I laughed. I laughed long and loud. Although you can't tell it, there was a set of handcuffs involved. I'm not sure what the dog did to exact such punishment.
Allow me to dance delicately around the whole racial profiling issue, but am I not the only one who sees shades of terrorism here? The checkered fabric is somewhat disturbing. That's all I'm saying.
I inquired of my sons why they did this. I got sheepish grins and shrugs in response. I'm not sure they knew fully why they did it. They just did. They had to. It was in their blood. More accurately it was in their genes...or jeans. Uh, well, let's just say, "Testosterone made 'em do it," and leave it at that, shall we?
I never had a brother. Now there are three guys in the house and me. The lone female in a sea of testosterone. There is a lot I just don't understand. I laugh because they're weird. I laugh because they're different. I laugh because they stink. I laugh lest I cry. What's a girl to do?
I don't get it. Really I don't. Why are guys so weird? Why do they snort and sweat and huff and puff and swagger and sway? Why do they lift heavy stuff and tote that barge and hoist that bale? What is it they're trying to prove? Who is it they're trying to impress? Do they know? Do they care? Is there method behind their madness? Or do they do it because they gotta? Because it just feels right. Because it's there.
And what if they don't? What if they don't pretend to be bad guys or borderline terrorists? Will they explode? Will they implode? Will they disintegrate?
Frankly, I'm a little fearful. I know the minds of these young boys. I know what's coming. They'll tire of torturing each other and turn their attention to me. Then I'll be bound and gagged. Don't worry about me though. I mean, they wouldn't keep me that way forever, would they? Only until they got hungry, right? Then they'd have to let me go. Even terrorists gotta stop to eat once in a while, don't they? Don't they?!?
Please send help.
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11 comments:
The wife was commenting on this same issue yesterday when I could not pull myself away from the front window watching some (real) men cutting down (3) of the big trees in our front yard.
My opinion is that moms are exempt from being included in those sorts of activities... for the very reason you mentioned. Someone has to fix dinner and do the dishes. Boys... you gotta love 'em. :^) Who else would cut down the trees?
Jane
I've already succumbed to the pressure. I couldn't help but relent when Dave flashed those big eyes at me with that anxious, goofy grin of his. I'm a sucker for a handsome face. It was just handcuffs with me though. The rope would be a bit too oppressive. I'd probably have nightmares. ;)
Just wait till they chase each other around the yard with the lawn mower. :)
Forgot to add, I really enjoyed the time Dave tried to cut all my limbs off with the toy chain saw. :)
This doesn't surprise me, T. ;)
I am so proud of you for getting on the "blog" horse again. I have been awaiting your return with bated breath! Ya gotta them boys out there never know what they'll do ( especially if their aunt Kista whispers suggestions in their tiny little ears)
Noooooooooo! Run. Run for your lives.
Let's see ... bright side to the inevitable ....
When battles must be fought, they will leave you alone and terrorize the bad guys so you don't have to.
I'm hoping there is more, but that's all I got for now.
(Tee, hee, I like you.)
Ooh! I love that Kista says "bated breath" too! I knew I liked her.
After growing up with a brother who created a natural disaster (hurricane, forest fire, blizzard, etc.) every time Karen and I tried to play house, pictures like the one you posted don't bother me too much. After having 3 sons of mine own, the only thing that pops in my head is "is that cloth breathable?"
Hi, saw your comment on LMM's blog.
Sending a little prayer your way that you don't have to tear test your mascara again anytime soon.
What a funny post.
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